"Perfect? She cannot walk, or talk, or eat on her own”

"... some parents say that they would rather terminate a disabled baby in order to prevent him [and them] from having a life of suffering..

Sometimes great torment is endured on the part of parents who have medically fragile children. I suffered many times as I held down my infant daughter while nurses jabbed her with needles in search of a vein that would deliver the needed amount of blood for one test or another. I also suffered tremendously the night we almost lost her. As I watched her pallor turn completely gray and she was nearly gone, my soul cried out to God. I endured waves of pain as I wondered how He could let my precious child — His precious child — continue to be subject to the tortures that often accompany her medical care.


This is flawed thinking. God never promised us a life free of pain. What He did promise us is that His grace would be sufficient for every trial...I often find myself wondering why so many people think that the disabled (or any of us) suffer in vain. Sacred Scripture tells us in 1 Peter 2:20-21 that suffering patiently is what we are called to do in imitation of Jesus Himself...

The qual­ity-of-life argument is ... flawed in that the one employing it does not consider how the disabled child judges his own life’s quality. Yes, my daughter’s life has included much pain; however, she does not know that life should not hurt so much. This is the only life she has known. For all the discomfort and pain she has felt in these years, she has also felt unending and all-encompassing love from her family. Love is really the only thing she knows because even when medical intervention causes pain, someone who loves her is always there to distract her during the procedure or to comfort her when the procedure is over. She always has a parent, brother, or grandmother nearby to dry her tears and to try to cajole a smile from her angelic face.

As the mother of a disabled child, I thank the heavenly Father every day for sending me such a priceless treasure. He could have given her to any parents in the world — even to parents who might have aborted her because she would not be “perfect” or would require extra work. But He did not. He blessed me and my husband with a child who is as close to perfect as a child could be. Many would remark in confusion, “Perfect? She cannot walk, or talk, or eat on her own, etc.” My response is that she can love and has received love beyond measure. How much more perfect could she be?"